Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
