dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she pinky promised me she was 18
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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