i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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