He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
