So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
