There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
