My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
