i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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