I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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