You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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