Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I need moral support for this bender
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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