Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
