you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
