Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
