I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
