his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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