I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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