Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
