Can i not drive my cunt home
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it's like iHOP with fire
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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