I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
