we're chasing vodka with high fives
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
