State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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