2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is Oprah even human
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
