I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
