If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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