Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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