I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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