She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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