Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
