if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
