It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
