Im at strip club and am horny
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
