We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
