just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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