Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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