this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize