What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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