your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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