No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
