Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
