it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
