i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
