What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
