would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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