sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
