she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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