I heard we made out
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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