i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
