I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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