At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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