I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize