I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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