My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize