that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
