no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
