How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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