id be glad to
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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