The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
