is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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